he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize