she was so not down for the gang bang
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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