when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
