then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You made out with two different species that night
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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