Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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