***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
