I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
