This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
