the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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