He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
