you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
