So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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