he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
