he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
