We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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