I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
