i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
