I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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