It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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