every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Enjoy the penises
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
