Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
