If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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