The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
