Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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