My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
