He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
