i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize