we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
