mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize