I can't breathe out the right side of my face
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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