bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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