well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
