We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
