I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just cropdusted the office
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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