She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
