i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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