My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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