I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
