OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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