I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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