the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
