windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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