His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
