How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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