Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
