after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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