I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize