covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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