it wasn't lemon gatorade
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
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