Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
