The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
