Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
