soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
