well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize