I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
