did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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