is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
