I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
