Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
only if we run a train.
done.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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