I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
