you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
