i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
and i looked up. we had an audience...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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