i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
