apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize