Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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