I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
