i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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