PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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