I have demons in me.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
